You don't realise what you've got until it's gone
by HOASVUwriter
Summary: Set in season 15 after beasts obsession. (Olivia has a daughter called Emily ) while Olivia fights for custody of her daughter will their relationship fall apart. Olivia has to face the truth and confront her daughter but with IAB on her back can she save the small relationship they have? Soz bad at summaries need REVIEWS! :-P
1. Chapter 1

Emily was walking to her locker when a mean girl from her class Sandie approached her. "Where'd you think you're going?" she snarled "to my locker" Emily answered confused "oh lemme help you" she said grabbing Emily's books and dumping them on the floor. "Give it a rest Sandie" Emily sighed picking up her books. "So where'd your mom dump you to this time" Sandie asked laughing. "It's not her fault" Emily said trying to hold back tears. "Well who's fault is it then?" Sandie smirked. "The man who raped her" Emily answered slamming her locker shut. Sandie stared in shock "aw did your mommy hang out with the wrong crowd" Sandie said pretending to cry. "Actually she was kidnapped smart ass" Emily sneered. Sandie gave her a sympathetic look "oh yeah your poor mom she's sick at home right?" she asked "right" Emily answered continuing to walk down the hall. "Wrong I saw her with her little boyfriend yesterday" she said turning to walk away "I'm sorry she wanted you gone but can you blame her?" she asked walking down the hallway with her little gang.

Emily hit her head against her locker until it started to bleed. Tears rolled down her cheeks so she went to the bathroom to clean up. The school day never felt so long but Emily was glad because if she had to go home to her horrible foster parents she knew it'd end in tears. She left the bathroom and the final bell rang letting her know it was time to go home.

She walked in the door of the shabby old apartment as usual her foster parents criticised her looks her posture her attitude, she just wish it would end. She heard a knock on the door and her foster mother answered it. Emily was in the kitchen and didn't see who it was. "You shouldn't be here" her foster mother snarled "I have visitation rights" said a voice Emily would recognise anywhere. "Mom?" she asked walking into the hallway "c'mon let's go" Olivia said glaring at Maria (Emily's foster mom) "where're we going?" Emily asked "out" Olivia answered. Emily ran to her mother's side "we'll be back by seven" Olivia said walking away with Emily alongside her. They drove to MacDonald's to get some food "why the random visit you haven't even texted me in two months why the sudden interest?" Emily asked coldly "I've always been interested, my phone is smashed and it's been kept as evidence" Olivia answered. "Again?" Emily signed not sounding convinced "again" Olivia answered "but the phone had nothing to do with the case" Emily said "it did his texts about Amelia" Olivia reminded. "Oh yeah" Emily mumbled "it's OK I know you hate your foster parent I hate them two but IAB still think I shot Lewis and they don't trust me to look after you" Olivia explained "but I hate it mom I-I just wanna go home" she said tears starting to form behind her eyes "I know and I get it's hard for you to understand but I can't take care of you" Olivia said looking down "no I understand I get it 100%" Emily said. Just then Brian approached "oh hey Em" he said "it's Emily" Emily corrected. "OK I'm sorry" he said not really paying attention to his words. "Emily go get some ice-cream" Olivia said "here" Brian said giving her some money. Emily knew that was just a polite way to tell her to leave but she was getting ice-cream so at least she got something out of it. She came back and saw the look on her mom's face, she looked like she was gonna cry. "I'm sorry Liv" Brian said getting up and walking out.. Emily plonked onto her seat "what'd he say?" she asked concerned "oh nothing just work you know how it is now um.. you have to be home in a half hour so we better get going. Emily's face dropped " OK" she whispered putting on her jacket.

It was late that night and Emily couldn't sleep. Her foster parents were at it again and she tried to block out the noise. She took out her phone and got her mom's knew number "mom they're doing it again" Emily sighed "I swear if IAB weren't on me already" Olivia said in a threatening tone. "I can't sleep can you just collect me" Emily asked but went silent hearing more noises that she wished she couldn't hear. "Are they seriously having sex right next door to you?" Olivia asked in shock "mom don't say it" Emily cringed "there's no sugar-coating it Em" Olivia yawned "no don't go to sleep" Emily begged. "OK I'll tell you what I'll get someone from child services to come and collect you" she said hanging up the phone. Two hours past and Emily was giving up hope, until she heard a knock on the door.. Child services came and took her away. She sat in the back of the car and cried silently. Meanwhile Olivia was tossing and turning, she just couldn't lie still. "Liv give it a rest" Brian groaned sleepily "I can't" Olivia said sitting up so Brian sat up too. "You're over thinking things" he yawned "oh yeah over thinking things" Olivia said frustratedly. She got up and left the bedroom "wait I didn't mean-" Brian began "I know what you meant" Olivia answered.


	2. Chapter 2 Party time

It was almost two days since Emily was moved to her new foster home. She even made some new friends Megan and Tiffany they were complete psychos they'd do anything you dared them to but Tiffany wasn't exactly all there.

The girls had invited Emily to a party that Tiffany's sister was having for her 17th. Emily was a bit unsure but Megan talked her into it.

"Wow this is amazing" Emily yelled over the music.

"I come to parties like this all the time" Megan smiled dragging Tiffany along so she'd keep up. Emily looked around and noticed people taking drugs.

"Hey Meg what's going on this is supposed to be a 17th?" Emily asked shakily.

"Calm down, here try some" Megan said holding the drug in the palm of her hand.

"Yeah I take these all the time and look how I turned out" Tiffany smiled

"She's a bad example" Megan said laughing slightly but Emily wasn't impressed.

"Go on" Tiffany taunted

"You're only twelve she's only 14 and I just turned 13 we can't do this" Emily said looking to the floor. Tiffany and Megan huffed and walked away. A boy came over to her and started hitting on her.

"Hey babe wanna have some fun?" he asked. Emily didn't want to but he persuaded her outside.

"OK so how old are you anyway kid?" he asked. Emily looked down.

"13" she said

"Oh well I'm 17" the guy said

"Hey Jake who'd you got there?" another guy called over.

"This is Emily" the boy smirked stroking her hair. Emily knew all too well that this probably would end in tears but she went along with it so she wouldn't cause a scene


	3. Chapter 3 Horror and disbelief

Emily woke up on the cold damp floor of the alley next to her apartment building. Her shirt was gone and she had no memory of anything after 12. She looked around but it was dead quiet and there was no life. She looked down and noticed that her shoes were gone too and she couldn't step out onto the street like that, so she climbed the fire escape to her bedroom window and got dressed. Her foster mother entered the room

"You're up early sweetie" she said Emily had no idea it was 6:30 so she played along.

"Oh I always get up at this time" she said casually putting on a clean shirt.

"Great well I just wanted to make sure you're OK I know you're a bit unsettled but you'll come around" she said patting Emily on the back. She left the room and Emily let out a sigh of relief. She picked up her phone and saw miss calls and texts from Megan.

"Hey Meg I'm sorry I didn't call back I just got up" Emily said but Megan got it and didn't mind.

Emily went out for awhile before calling it a night she didn't want to mention her incident to Megan in case she would freak out she just kept it to herself.

Emily's dream

"This is Emily" Jake smirked stroking her hair. His friend Alex approached him "well hello little lady?" he smiled touching her and making her feel uncomfortable.

"Save it for later" Jake whispered pulling Alex away

"Fine" Alex huffed.

dream time elapse

Emily woke up with Jake on top of her "get off me!" she screamed but Alex covered her mouth.

"Shh baby you're gonna be fine" Jake whispered

"Yeah and you get to tell all your little friends you're not a virgin anymore" Alex laughed which made Jake laugh too.

back to the real world

Emily sat upright her heart pounding out of her chest and screamed at the top of her lungs. Her foster mother ran inside to check on her and tried to calm her down.

At SVU Olivia felt nauseous she had a gut feeling that something was wrong.

"Liv you're just worried about Emily you'll come around" Amanda tried to reassure.

"I'm such an idiot I sent her to abusive foster parents then I took her away from her friends to be in a safer foster home but she'll probably get moved from there and she'll never have a home her life will be terrible she'll hate me then become a prostitute and kill herself Brian will be gone IAB will arrest me I'll be in prison and I'll die alone" Olivia blurted not even taking a breath.

"OK Liv she loves you and really a prostitute you know there's plenty of kids in foster care who are very happy" Amanda protested.

"Yeah but the thing is she's not happy" Olivia sighed and she wasn't wrong either Emily was miserable she just wanted to come home..

**Soz for short chapter bur I'll tey and improve forbthe next one I promise and reviews would be appreciated thx keep reading and I'll keep writing :-P **


	4. Chapter 4 safe for now

Emily's foster mom finally calmed her down and tried to get her to talk.

"Emily dear you can tell me" she sighed

"I-I need my mom" Emily sobbed and her foster mother frowned.

"I understand that and I know I can't replace your mother but you need to open up to me" she said. Emily bit her lip she felt sick to her stomach.

"No I need my mom I have to see my mom" Emily protested.

"Woman troubles?" she asked

"No" Emily cringed remembering "the talk"

"Has your mother spoken to you about sexuality?" she asked which made Emily blush a little.

"Yeah she even warned me to never do drugs and if I ever become a prostitute she'll hunt me down and-" Emily began but her Mary (foster mom) got the hint and told her she didn't have to continue.

"If you don't mind me asking why exactly are you in foster care?" Mary asked. Emily stared at her foster mom laughing slightly telling her it was a long story and of course her foster mom didn't wanna hear it. She told Emily it'd be best if she doesn't see her mother and Emily realised that she gave her mom a bit of a bad name.

She decided to call her mom to tell her what had happened..

Olivia paced up and down as her phone rang loudly

"Liv just answer it you'll be fine" Amanda encouraged

"No I can't what if something happened what if she's pregnant?" Olivia asked letting the phone ring out.

"OK no offence but um.. you're kinda treating your daughter like she's a slut when you know she's a good girl she wouldn't do that" Nick said and Amanda glared at him..

"What?" Olivia asked her eyes turning dark all the fear leaving her and being taken over by anger.

"You know guys how about we take it easy alright it's just this case it's got us all on edge" Amanda said smiling at Liv and putting her hand on Nick's shoulder. "OK" Olivia whispered smiling at Nick. She picked up her phone and redialled Emily's number.

"Mom" Emily gasped when her mom answered the phone (technically she didn't answer)

"Are you OK I was working a case and it really got to me and I was worried about you and I started thinking about drug dealers and rapist and you becoming a prostitute" Olivia blurted. Emily found it harder to tell her mother now she knows how worried she'd been.

"Mom I think I think I might've I might've" she stuttered.

"What are you OK did somebody do something where are you" Olivia asked all at once. Everyone knew that Liv was like a different person when it came to her daughter in fact she's the exact opposite of the Olivia in the squad room

" I think I I w-was raped" Emily sobbed and Olivia snapped

"What!?" Olivia half asked half yelled. She grabbed her coat and her gun she had a crazed look in her eyes and Nick noticed that she was unstable and seeing her with a gun on top of all that scared him.

"Maybe this isn't the best idea" he said taking the gun away from her.

"Yeah you're right" Olivia sighed taking out another gun and leaving the squad room "it was too small anyway" Olivia called from the elevator. Nick sighed and grabbed his coat. He wasn't letting her go in alone she could be in danger or put someone else in danger.

She ran to the apartment building where her daughter was living and banged loudly on the door.

"I'm sorry who are you?" the lady asked but Olivia ignored her question and pushed past. "Excuse me?" the woman asked in shock but Olivia kept walking in a fast pace. She approached her daughter's room and opened the door.

"Let's go" she said

"Mom?" Emily asked "what're you doing here?" but Olivia just kept walking not letting go of her hand. When they reached the car Emily pulled away "mom what the hell are you doing?" Emily asked not daring to curse in front of her mother. Olivia just shook her head and was about to say something when Nick's car pulled up.

"Liv what're you doing?" Nick asked noticing Emily in the back seat of the car.

"I'm taking my kid home" Olivia answered.

"What about IAB?" Nick asked opening the back door and gesturing for Emily to get out.

"I won custody in court yesterday I just need her foster mom to sign to say that she's no longer Emily's carer " Olivia said.

"She hasn't sighed" Emily frowned.

"No but she will" Olivia said reentering the building.

"Wait here I'm gonna go make sure your mom doesn't kill anyone" Nick said which made Emily giggle but she nodded. After ten minutes Nick and Olivia returned but they didn't look too excited.

"I have to go back don't I?" she sighed stepping out of the door Nick smirked and Olivia nodded to him Emily never understood those two. "Well c'mon what's with the sign language?" Emily asked.

"You're coming home" Olivia said almost in a whisper.

"Thank you" Emily said tears rolling down her cheeks as she pulled her mom in for a hug. Nick smiled sadly thinking of Maria and Zara. Olivia pulled away from the hug and turned to Nick Emily smiled a cheeky grin. Olivia hugged Nick tightly "thanks" she whispered softly. They hugged for awhile until Emily interrupted she cleared her throat.

"Um... I hate to interrupt but we need to go" Emily trailed but Olivia and Nick were still in each others embrace. "Mom.." Emily groaned and sat back down in the car and watched them say their goodbyes.

"Do you like Nick?" Emily asked when her mom entered the car.

"He's a good detective" Olivia sighed changing subject. Emily sighed but giggled slightly

"You like him don't you?" she asked in a taunting tone.

"We're just friends, partners it's strictly business" Olivia answered turning a corner.

"Oh strictly business like you and Brian?" Emily asked and Olivia glared "that's different" she said turning another corner.

"Where're we going?" Emily asked

"The hospital" Olivia answered pulling up outside the A&E.

"Mom I'm fine" Emily sighed as Olivia stepped out of the door.

"No you need to get a check up you could have HIV or pregnant or anything" Olivia said lost for words. This frightened Emily so she let the doctors examine her. When it was all over she finally got to go home. She was relieved to be able to spend time with her mom, at least until she was called in for a case leaving Emily with Brian.


	5. Chapter 5 home invasion

Emily didn't like Brian he just seemed kind of well she wasn't sure she just despised him. "I'm inviting a friend over to watch the play-offs and he's got a son about your age" Brian said as Emily fiddled with her hair. The awkward silence was broken by a knock on the door and Emily saw a face she never thought she'd have to see again Jake! "Oh no" she whispered. Jake was NOT near her age he was seventeen and she was thirteen big difference in her opinion. She grabbed her phone and ran to the bathroom "mom he's here" she said in a panicked voice.

"Who's here?" Olivia asked in confusion.

"Jake!" Emily yelled

"Jake?" Olivia asked deep in thought.

"The guy who raped me!" Emily whispered harshly and Olivia told her where the emergency gun was hidden. "Some people have emergency contacts others have emergency guns" Emily thought to herself.

Olivia was able to come home early, Nick said he'd cover her shift so she could check up on Emily. Olivia entered the apartment to see Brian sitting down with Emily, Jake and Jake's father. She stood in front of the TV and switched it off. "Um.. You OK?" Brian asked.

"No I'm not" Olivia said angrily glaring at Jake and Brian stood up and put his hand on her shoulder.

"Liv you should get some rest is it a case is it getting to you? Should I call the therapist again?" he asked which made Olivia worse. "You go to your room" she said to Emily. She ushered Jake and his father out making sure to let them know that they weren't welcome back. Then she punched Brian in the nose. Blood trickled down his face

"You need help!" he yelled clutching his nose.

"I need help no you need help letting that- that pervert into our home with my child sitting there afraid to move because you decide you wanna watch a game with a rapist is that how it works?!" Olivia yelled. Brian frowned in confusion

"Rapist?" he asked and Olivia nodded. "What are you talking about?" he asked wiping the blood from his nose which he was pretty sure was broken.

"He raped Emily!" Olivia yelled and Brian stumbled back a bit in shock.

"Liv I-I didn't know I just" he stuttered grabbing his keys and turning towards the door. Olivia locked the door behind him before heading to Emily's room. "Mom you OK?" Emily asked and Olivia bit her lip but nodded.

"Yeah sure" she nodded but Emily knew she was upset, maybe things with her mom and Brian weren't going as well as she thought.

"Mom who's my father?" Emily asked which made Olivia uncomfortable but decided to tell her she knew it was time to face the truth.

"I was undercover it was my second year at SVU and well your father was the rapist and I was the bate" Olivia said looking down.

"Then what?" Emily asked quietly

"Things went a bit further than they needed to" Olivia whispered so low that Emily could barely hear her.

"But what how?" she asked

"Well Cragen he.." Olivia trailed and Emily's eyes widened.

"Mom tell me" Emily beefed but Olivia just shook her head. Emily could tell this got to her and regretted saying it.

"OK if you wanna know so much let's go" Olivia said leaving the room and Emily followed.

"Mom where are we going?" she asked scared of what her mother might do.

"You'll see" Olivia answered.

They drove for awhile until they reached a jail and before she knew it Emily was sitting down directly across from a man in a small room.

"Who're you?" he asked Emily as she sat down. Olivia stepped in behind her "your kid" Olivia answered coldly.

"Aww Benson you got knocked up huh?" he laughed but Olivia didn't say a word.

"Does this kid have a name?" he asked

"I'm Emily" Emily answered.

"So lemme guess you wanna know what happened that night" he laughed and Emily nodded. "Well I've raped a lot of people but she's one you wouldn't forget" he laughed. Olivia left but he continued to speak. "See she was a fighter and I like that but I was still stronger and well if it wasn't for that retarded captain of hers she wouldn't even be here" his words made Emily shake. "You know I was her first rape, that Lewis guy has nothing on me" he laughed and Emily stood up.

"You're a sick man!" she yelled tears in her eyes.

"Come'ere" he whispered and Emily edged forward slightly.

"You look so much like your mother" he said stroking her dark hair. "Same beautiful eyes" he said smiling and Emily backed away sitting back in the chair. "Listen kid I didn't wanna do what I did but I am who I am and I can't help that but I can be your dad you can I dunno tell me stuff you know stuff you won't tell your mom and you know there's plenty of stuff you won't tell your mom" he smiled and Emily giggled slightly but nodded anyway. "You know if I didn't do what I did you wouldn't be where you are right now" he said as Emily closed the door.

"How'd it go?" Olivia asked nervously

"Great" Emily smiled

"Great?" Olivia asked making sure her daughter was OK and not hopelessly confused.

"Yup" she nodded popping the "P" Olivia smiled slightly.


	6. Chapter 6change

The past few weeks Olivia Emily was acting out, getting trouble in school, getting into fights and ditching. There must've been something up because Olivia knew that Emily would never do those things.

"Liv you OK?" Nick asked and Olivia looked up.

"Yeah it's just I think Emily's found herself those friends" Olivia sighed

"I think you mean the other friends" Fin corrected and Olivia sighed again not really caring.

"Friends those other wait what?" Amanda muttered before speaking out loud "what?" she asked

"You know druggies pot heads whatever you wanna call um" Fin said and Olivia looked down.

"Liv it'll be OK she's a teenager it's just a phase right now you need to focus on yourself your recovery the trial the teenage crisis thing can wait you've got plenty of years of her teenage mood swings left" Nick said and Olivia stood up.

"Yeah you're right guess I'm no use to the team right now I can't do anything because I'm the victim who can't do anything by herself!" Olivia said angrily and Murphy emerged from the CO's office.

"What's going on?" he asked

"Oh yeah sorry I better let them tell you since I can't do anything for myself" Olivia yelled walking out of the squad room. Murphy turned to face the others.

"What was that?" he asked and Nick frowned.

"I guess I set're off" he whispered looking down at the floor while he spoke and then looked up. " I need to fix this " he said grabbing his coat and Rollins looked up from her paperwork

"Well someone better keep them away from metal bars" she joked but in a serious tone.

"Ey c'mon be serious, Nick should know that already it comes in the how to guide on surviving partnership with Olivia Benson" Fin joked

"Yeah has anyone given that to Cassidy yet cuz he looks like he's miserably failing" Amanda laughed but Murphy told them to grow up and get back to work.

Olivia was sitting on the couch when she heard a knock on the door. She carefully stood up and walked slowly over to the door with her gun she looked through the peephole and saw Nick standing there. "Liv open up!" he called and Olivia slid the latch off the door and opened it slowly.

"It's 2:30 you don't just knock at someone's door and say hey open up" Olivia said breathing heavily.

"Are you OK?" he asked and Olivia nodded gripping the chair for balance.

"You sure?" he asked concerned.

"Yeah just a little dizzy" Olivia replied and Nick nodded being careful of her mental state.

"You know Liv I think you should see a doctor" Nick said nervously

"I said I'm fine" Olivia snapped and Nick put his hands up in surrender. "I'm sorry I'm just-" Olivia began but she hit the floor before she could finish. Emily heard the loud noise and went to investigate. "Mom!" she gasped when she saw Olivia sprawled out on the living room floor and Nick at her side. "W-what happened?" she asked but Nick shrugged because he himself had no clue.

"Call an ambulance" he said while searching for a pulse. Emily called the ambulance so all they could do was wait. Nick decided it was taking too long "let's go" he said and he knelt down and sat Olivia upright before lifting her up in his arms.

"Wow" Emily gasped and opened the front door for Nick.

"Wow she's heavy" Nick breathed walking down the stairs.

"Don't drop're!" Emily gasped waling behind him. The ambulance had just pulled up outside as Amaro came to the last step. They took Olivia from him. Emily went in the ambulance but Nick said he'd follow Emily didn't mind him not being there all she cared about was her mom. She held her hand the whole way and kept telling her it'd be OK.

When they got to the hospital and everything was in the clear Emily and Nick were aloud visit Olivia. She had to be sedated but she was doing fine.

"So what happened?" Nick asked the doctor out of Emily's earshot.

"Panic attack" the doctor answered.

"Panic attack?" Nick repeated

"Yes she's perfectly healthy she just needs a quiet place to rest and it's probably best to have someone with or near her at all times" the doctor explained looking through Olivia's chart.

"Anything else?" Nick asked and the doctor nodded.

"Don't make a big deal about it or she'll become panicked triggering an attack" he answered and Nick nodded.

Later that night/morning Brian came and picked Emily up. She went home to bed but couldn't sleep, she knew her mom wouldn't be awake until the next day so there was no point in calling her. She decided to keep a log or a diary on her phone to keep her busy.

Emily's log

Dear diary

I'm worried about my mom and Megan and Tiffany want me to sneak out I mean now of all times really? Nick says my mom will be fine but Meg says that adults are supposed to say that stuff. She turned 16 and thinks she knows everything but still what if she's right? Ughh then there's Brian playing the father and even though my dad is a criminal I still prefer him to Brian. Anyway I better try and get some sleep so I can see my mom first thing tomorrow.

back to the real world

Emily switched off her phone and shoved it under her pillow but then changed her mind and turned it back on just in case she got any news.


	7. Chapter 7 grounded

The next day Emily woke up at 6:30 expecting something about Liv but it was just Megan. She read the text saying that she needed help so Emily rolled out of bed, got dressed and snuck out.

She returned home late that evening to see Brian sitting on the couch with Olivia who was sleeping soundly with her head rested on his shoulder and Emily smiled but it quickly faded when she saw the look on Brian's face. "Emily" he growled in a whisper gently resting Olivia's head on the couch before standing up. "You're just lucky that I calmed her down she's been looking for you all day OK she had a break down and you're to Blane noe go to your room and don't come out and no TV for a week" he whispered pointing to her bedroom door. Emily sighed as she plonked on her bed and she decided it was the perfect time to add to her log.

Emily's log

Dear whatever sounds coolest!

I've never seen Brian act like that before it was like he was afraid to wake her. I know she can get her mood swings but it's not like she's gonna die. And I know that she won't be happy being treated like that. As far as today went though I wasn't even thinking about my mom and I know that sounds cruel mean and whateves but I do have a social life. I went to a great party it was Meg's treat as a thank you for saving her ass. She was getting caught up in a drug dealer gang and she told them she was babysitting me and that my mom's a cop but I corrected her and told her that it's detective cuz it is. Wow wait I just heard something. Something's going on out there Brian keeps telling my mom to calm down and she keeps saying she's sorry.

real world

Olivia frowned and Brian scooped her up in a hug.

"You know is it worth it?" Olivia asked

"What?" Brian asked "

"Me being here I mean why didn't he just kill me?" she asked and Brian smiled

"Because he knew this place would be nothing without you" he said pulling her in a bit closer never wanting to let go.


	8. Chapter 8 getting the big picture

It was a Monday so Emily had school which made her cringe a little. She wasn't in the mood for school but it was her last week until the holidays so she just had to hang in there. She sat out her lessons but all she could think about was getting home. So when the day finally came to end she rushed home and barged in the front door. "I'm home" she called wondering if Olivia or Brian were home but there was no response. Emily didn't over think it they just had to work overtime that's all. She flicked through the channels on the TV but nothing good was on. She texted Megan and Tiffany before making herself a sandwich. Her sandwich making was interrupted by a knock on the door. Emily peered through the peephole to see Nick standing there.

"Nick?" she asked

"Emily Brian's been shot so you'll need to come with me for awhile" he said. Emily grabbed her phone and headed out the door. Nick had a double shift so Emily had to go to the precinct. She wondered around and decided to check out her mom's office. She looked around and saw lots of books and filing cabinets but one thing caught her eye. It was a picture of her when she was five in Elliot's arms with ice-cream all over her face. She remembered that day like it was yesterday, she was in central park with her mom and he mom's partner Elliot. Olivia had a free shift and took her to the park to get some ice-cream. Emily's thoughts were interrupted by Amanda. "Hey what're you doing in here?" she asked and Emily shrugged Amanda noticed the picture in her hands.

"Oh the picture" she smiled and Emily gazed up at her in confusion. "Well whenever she's down or if she's got a tone of files she remembers that day and well it always cheers her up" Amanda sighed and Emily wondered maybe she didn't realise how much her mom actually loves her.

**soz it's short hope you enjoyed it please review your guesses and ideas I'm open!**


	9. Chapter 9 jealousy

It was 6 days later and Brian was still recovering from his ordeal. Olivia spent most nights in the hospital with Brian while Emily stayed at Amanda's.

Emily's log

OK so I'm with Amanda but I haven't spent much time here I've been with Jake. It turns out he was the one who stopped Alex from raping me. So now I guess we're a couple! I know he's older but I'll be 14 in two days so it's not that bad and besides we haven't been doing anything. Well that's it for now Amanda just pulled up so I guess I'm home.

real world

Emily walked to her apartment and was surprised to see Jake there outside her door. "Well are you gonna invite me in?" he asked and she nodded. They headed in and watched a movie and when it was all over and they shared a kiss goodbye Jake left. Emily was once again alone she picked up her phone and texted some friends.

Olivia arrived home at 2:30 and saw her daughter wrapped up on the chair. "Hey you OK?" she whispered and Emily paused the TV.

"Yeah I'm OK are you OK?" Emily asked trying to read her moms expression.

"I'm good and Brian will be out soon so I guess that's good too" Olivia nodded.

"You sure you're OK?" Emily asked a bit more concerned.

"Nick was arrested today" Olivia sighed and Emily leaned in closer with interest.

"Really?" Emily asked and Olivia looked down.

"You wouldn't understand" Olivia whispered as Emily sighed.

"I'm not a kid anymore" she groaned.

"You're 13" Olivia said

"14 in two days" Emily corrected.

Emily: _hey babe_

Jake: _hey_

Emily: _lets go somewhere_

Jake: _what about your mommy?_

Emily: _I'll take care of it._

Emily locked her phone and turned to her mom. "Hey mom I'm going out awhile k?" she asked but Olivia shook her head. Emily groaned "but.. why?" Emily asked.

"It's 1;30 and your 13 and also do you know how many rapists are out there especially at night and they always go for the weakest person they can fnd" Olivia said lecturing Emily on the dangers.

"oh so I'm weak now?" Emily asked sarcastically.

"no that's not what I meant it's just you're an easy target I mean you seen what they did to you at that party" Olivia sighed and Emily groaned. She stormed into her room and slammed the door. "Oh and don't even think about going out the window cuz it's alarmed" Olivia called as Emily stood back from the window. She threw herself out of her bed and sighed she was so bored and there was nothing she could do. On the bright side she had a house phone in her room so she could listen to her moms calls this was going to be very interesting...

"I'm fine" Olivia sighed

"You sure?" Amanda asked doubtfully.

"yeah I'm fine" Olivia answered shakily.

"OK well Munch is bailing Nick out" Amanda and Emily put the phone down there wasn't much interesting confo going on so she left them to it. She wasn't that interested, but she did think it was weird how Munch just came back. She didn't think about that she could only think of where she was gonna be going with Nick on tial she knew her mom would be busy.  
It was the next day and Olivia came home with a surprise...

Olivia walked in the door with a baby in her arms and Emily looked in confusion. "Um.. mom watcha got there?" Emily asked and Olivia laughed awkwardly.

"This is Noah your well your brother" Olivia said shakily and Emily glared.

"Brother?" she repeated.

Emily's log

OK so lemme get this straight she can adopt oh no sorry foster a kid in one day but it takes her months to gain custody of her own child (ME). I seriously think there's something wrong with that it's like really? Now she has another reason to ignore me! Ugh I'm so annoyed and now Tiffany keeps texting me about boys and about Megan's boyfriends yes boyfriend_**s. **_

real world

Emily was not happy but what she didn't know was that it didn't get any easier than what it already was. Olivia was busy with Noah and Brian and Nick and work and well everything but Emily.


	10. Chapter 10 sisterhood

Emily was out with Jake they were just being a couple and doing "couple things". "Well happy birthday" Jake smiled handing Emily a present.

"At least one person remembered" Emily sighed and Jake pulled her in close.

"I'm sure she just you know was busy" Jake suggested and Emily frowned.

"She's always busy I mean there's always a new victim, different rapists and one day I'm just worried she won't come home" Emily said biting her lip.

"Well that just means you love her all the more while she's there" Jake smiled and Emily smiled back.

"You're right" she whispered there moment was interrupted by a phone call. "Hello?" Emily asked

"Hey Emily it's Nick uh.. Listen it's your mom she kinda had a melt down and we called her sister to come get you" Nick said.

"Melt down?SISTER?!" Emily said confused.

"Oh.. You didn't... Well OK but yeah she has a sister so um.. It's pretty bad" Nick said.

"How bad?" Emily asked

"She, look that's not important just go home if you're not there already and she'll be there to pick you up" Nick explained.

"Who?" Emily asked frustratedly.

"Kate her sister" Nick said as if she should know.

"She doesn't have a sister!" Emily yelled.

"Half sister then" Nick sighed and Emily nodded to herself before hanging up.

"Your mom?" Jake asked and Emily shook her head.

"Nope" she said popping the "P" and explained as they walked back to her apartment.

Emily opened the door and saw Nick and a woman who she guessed was Kate.

"Who's your friend there?" Nick smiled and Emily groaned because she knew why he asked.

"Hi I'm Kate" Kate smiled and Emily glared.

"How're you and my mom related?" Emily asked.

"Same mom different dad" Kate nodded.

"OK.." Emily trailed

"I'm older by 4-months" Kate smiled looking at the pictures of Olivia and Emily.

"Why has she never mentioned you?" Emily asked.

"Because I left with my dad and she was left with our mom if I was her I wouldn't forgive me either" Kate sighed with guilt.

"Oh I'm sorry I-I had no idea" Emily stuttered.

"It's fine" Kate said almost in a whisper.

"I'm just gonna go pack" Emily said running to her room. After half an hour she was ready and her and Kate began their drive to Kate's place. "So what was my mom like as a kid?" Emily asked.

"Hmm.. Well she was bright, creative oh and very stubborn I have to say though she was brave" Kate sighed.

"So basically she hasn't changed at all" Emily laughed and Kate laughed too.

"Well she was 7 last time I saw her so I'm pretty sure she's changed a lot" Kate said.

"Nope! she hasn't changed a bit, but seriously 7 ?" Emily asked and Kate nodded "7" she repeated.

It was late at night and Kate was having that dream again about Olivia but she was awoken by the loud sobs of little Noah. Once she had calmed him down she returned to the bedroom where she continued to be cursed by the nightmare that haunted her since the day it happened.

Kate's dream

"C'mon Kate let's go" Kate's father yelled but Kate just frowned. "What about Via?" she asked staring at Olivia who peered her head out of her bedroom door.

"What about her we're leaving" he said grabbing his bag but Kate refused to leave.

"But she's my sister!" she exclaimed

"She is not your sister she was a mistake" he yelled and Kate turned to walk out the door when Olivia ran towards her "Kate please don't go" she whispered. Serena held her back as she fought.

"NO YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME! KATE COME BACK" she screamed kicking and squirming trying to get away.

"Shut up you little brat" Serena said viciously hitting Olivia.

"Please down leave me, please" she whispered but Kate kept walking down the hall not once looking back.

"She doesn't hit me when your here" Olivia whispered almost out of earshot.

real world

Kate woke up shocked and scared Olivia's words echoing in her head "please don't leave me" she tried to block it out but the she heard Serena's voice the violent threats that she used to scream at Olivia. Her thoughts were interrupted by Emily , " you OK?" she asked.

"Yeah sure" Kate answered.

"So who's Via and why are you sorry? She asked, Kate knew she had a lot of explaining to do. She used the excuse all adults use "when you're older".

**ok soz for random character I put her in to make the story more interesting and for a mega SVU fan:-P now Emily has to dig up the dirt on her mom but what'll she fund? Review your guesses and ideas plz and as for kidnapped readers I'll be updating soon I'm in the middle of writing chapter 10 it'll be good I promise but for now plz REVIEW!**


	11. Chapter 11 questions and answers

It was the next morning and Emily was eating her breakfast while Kate fed Noah. "I'm sorry about last night" Kate sighed and Emily nodded.

"I would forgive you but I'm too young" Emily sneered.

"I'm sorry but I'm ready to explain now" Kate said sitting on the couch with Noah in her arms. Emily followed her over and sat down next to her. "OK where do I start?" Kate sighed and Emily smiled.

"The beginning" she whispered staring in awe and wonder

"OK well I'm kinda old I can't remember anything but there was one week where it was really bad it was the week just before I left actually and Olivia wasn't doing to well, you see our mom was becoming more violent towards her but at the time I was only seven and didn't understand. I'd ask her what was going on and she'd say that everything was OK and that it was an accident and I believed her I thought her broken nose was an accident I thought all of her bruises were accidents but the truth was she was getting beat half to death and I didn't even know" Kate sighed sadly biting her lip before continuing. "So one day I was watching some cartoons and I heard a loud banging noise, I thought someone fell so I followed the noise to my mom and dad's room. They were fighting and I looked around for Olivia but I couldn't see her. They came out into the hallway completely ignoring me and I ran inside to find her. I found her hiding in the wardrobe and I asked her what she was doing and she told me that she was hiding and I asked her why and she told me it was all just a game and everything would be OK. I should've known she was lying but I didn't know I just thought it was like hide and seek but I was wrong and it took me all these years to realise it." Kate looked down and at this point Emily felt guilty for both her mom and her aunt. She decided to move on from the dark p topic and watch some TV, Kate asked her to watch Noah and she agreed. Kate ran to her bedroom and locked the door as tears streamed down her face. She took out a box filled with pictures of her and Olivia and also drawings they made together. She couldn't help but feel guilty and having Emily stay with her wasn't helping. She looked deeper into the box and found what she was looking for it was a necklace a friendship necklace to be exact. Little sis was engraved on it while the other half read big sis.

Emily was going to visit her mom in hospital to check up on her and to find out what happened (of course) Kate gave her the necklace she told her to give it to Olivia when she got there so Emily agreed. She arrived at the hospital and saw Nick and Brian.

"Hi" she said trying to sound happy when really she was crestfallen. Brian was still recovering but he was up and around which Emily actually found annoying. "Emily what're you doing here aren't you supposed be with Kate?" Brian asked and Nick gave him an angry look and Olivia glared.

"Excuse me?" she asked in a shocked tone. Brian was about to answer but Nick stopped him

"Mom I have something for you" Emily said holding out the necklace. Olivia took the necklace and smiled slightly.

"Where'd you get this?" Olivia asked almost in a whisper. Emily gulped wondering if her mom was going to freak out but instead she smiled and said "I guess you're met Kate" which made Emily laugh a little. They talked for awhile and then Emily asked

"So what happened the other night?" she asked.

"I fainted but I'm fine they're making a big deal out of nothing trust me" Olivia sighed.

"Liv they're doing it for a reason" Brian said and he did have a point but still Emily decided to but out.

"What reason people faint all the time and they don't get dragged to hospital to be tested for any possible disease known to man that I could magically have attracted" Olivia sighed angrily.

"Yeah well Liv you're not like those people who faint and get back up OK!" Brian yelled.

"Why because of Lewis is that what you think, you think I can't handle thinks anymore like I'm so weak and fragile that if I break a nail I die?! Seriously Brian get a grip" Olivia said and Brian was about to answer but he noticed Emily still sitting there so he kept quiet. All three of them went completely quiet leaving an awkward silence. Nick broke the silence by telling Emily to go to Kate's and get her bags and told Olivia that she was perfectly fine and she could go home, that's just what the nurse said but Brian had the feeling something was wrong. ..


	12. Chapter 12 apology

Emily arrived at Kate's and told her about what was going on. Kate smiled at how happy Emily had been coming home from seeing her mom. "I'm guessing it went pretty good" Kate laughed and Emily nodded.

"Why don't you drop me home and you can talk to my mom because you've got a lot to catch up on" Emily smiled but Kate shook her head.

"No I can't" Kate frowned which made Emily frown too.

"Why what's wrong?!" Emily yelled not understanding how awkward it is.

"Because I can't face her I just can't" Kate sighed holding back tears. Emily looked down.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have I mean it was a mistake I'm sorry" she said turning to the guest room she had been staying in to get her bags. What she didn't realise was one little word could trigger a horrific flashback for Kate.

Kate's flashback

"Olivia get in here!" Serena yelled and Olivia ran to the kitchen. "Did you do this?" she asked pointing at marker on the wall.

"No" Olivia whispered

"Don't lie to me" Serena sneered.

"It wasn't me" Olivia protested.

"Well who was it then? Hmm? Did Kate do this then?" Serena asked and Olivia turned to see Kate peeping her head through the door.

"Yes- no mommy it was me I'm sorry" Olivia said tears in her eyes.

"Do you know what happens to little girls who lie?" Serena asked staring at her shaking child. "Little girls who lie get punished but you are not a little girl you are a mistake and you know what people do to mistakes, we get rid of them!" Serena yelled dragging Olivia by the hair and swearing loudly to herself. There was a loud bang...

real world

Kate sighed loudly she couldn't get those images out of her head "mistake" that's all anyone would ever call her poor little sister. So because of that Olivia hated the word mistake and she'd say accident instead. Kate was snapped out of her trance by Emily calling her telling her that the phone was ringing. While Kate ran to get the phone Emily hauled her bags to the doorstep. She took out her phone and texted a few people just to get the news, before writing in her log.

Emily's log

Kate's been on the phone awhile and I'm kinda getting bored. Noah won't shut up either and I texted Jake and also Meg and Tiff who invited me out tomorrow night. I don't think I'll go though I mean it is kind of awkward with my mom being there and stuff but oh well. Oh Jake texted again says he wants to chat later eek I can't wait haven't seen him in two days and it feels like FOREVER. Kate's off the phone now better go see who it was. OK so I just asked her who it was and I'm pretty sure she said "Jerry my therapist" I mean seriously does everyone in my family need therapy ughhh god guess I'm next to go to the mad house.

real world

Olivia came to pick up Emily and Noah and was shocked to see Kate there. Everything went quiet.

"Hi" Olivia whispered.

"Hi" Kate whispered back. Emily smiled they could finally be sisters again. Kate walked closer to Olivia embracing her in a hug all the drama was over they could finally move on

"I'm sorry" Kate whispered...

**ok so this is the last chapter I'm currently writing a sequel ! So look out for it :-P **


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